Book: Short story, approximately 60 pages
No monsters in this ebook, unless you count the one unleashed from a dude’s pants. This satire is riffing on the latest tweetstorm to plow through publishing, about an author’s decision to copyright the word “cocky” and send out cease & desist letters to anyone who has used that word in a romance title.
The best part? Some prolific and very fast writer has pounded out this little gem, one of the funniest erotic satire books in years. The story goes meta when Ella Pierce, a bookstore owner who’s about to lose her business thanks to a cease and desist letter from a corporate chain store, arranges for a booksigning to boost her clientele. Mark Meyers isn’t any pen jockey, however; he’s a top selling erotic romance author who practices what he preaches. As soon as Mark comes through that door, though, Ella notices something about him. He’s brash, arrogant, and what’s that word?
“It’s on the tip of my tongue, but I just can’t come out with it for some unknown reason,” said Ella.
After Mark wins over her cocker spaniel with his cocksure confidence, the heat is on, and so is some of the funniest “bad” writing this side of Twitter. After he sweet-talks her with lines like “when is the last time a man laid some pipe in you,” she’s ready to go.
“He tastes like salty hot dog water and old spinach fished out of the bottom of the crisper drawer, which gets my engine revving even louder.” There are so many great lines in this book, it’s hard to grasp just one in your hand, but that’s definitely a firm, throbbing winner, right behind “Mouth moving down, he sucks on every part of my skin bit by bit like a broken vacuum at an estate sale.”
The encounter is brief, but if you’re looking for several good laughs, you can’t beat it for $2.99 on Amazon.